21 Things I Want In a Lover

1.Someone both masculine and feminine
2.Someone uninhibited (in bed)
3.Someone who can actually make loving them feel like freedom
4.Someone with a big intellectual capacity but knows that it does not equate wisdom
5.Someone curious, serious and non-serious at great moments and has an adventurous spirit
6.Someone who is an breathe taking “kisser and lover”
7.Someone who is communicative and can provide really insightful/witty/smart/stupid thoughts and opinions
8.Someone who is spontaneously romantic
9.Someone who encourages me to try to live my life
10.Someone who can tolerate my histrionics, my (slightly) constant need to be an insufferable know-it-all and attention-seeking whore
11.Someone willing to stand up for what they believe in, and even if those beliefs aren’t the same as mine
12.Someone who I am attracted to physically and emotionally
13.Someone who is opened minded, not prejudiced, homophobic or racist, not prone to irrational hate
14.Someone that likes to spend time with me even if they have nothing to say and that it feels just as comfortable as talking. Someone that does more than just say they want to spend time together, but will rearrange things so that we can be together.
15.Someone with their own life, so that they are there for me but not clingy. They have their own responsibilities, goals, and they make time for their within those. Someone who won’t complain if I have to work late, or if I want time to myself, or need to visit my family for the weekend.
16.Someone strong, confident, a little dominating at the right moments meaning that they are as strong physically as they are emotionally and in their convictions
17.Someone with goals, not a slacker, willing to work for what they want
18.Someone that is not flighty, can make decisions, and knows how to follow through with them. Is not timid in the wrong moments
19.Someone who is honest and at peace with one’s self
20.Someone slightly (healthily) jealous and insecure
21.Someone that likes the soft rain, and to listen to it on quiet Sundays while reading the newspaper or book and talking about hopes for the future



Artist Statment

“These are 21 things that I want in a lover not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer” as once quoted by Alanis Morissette in her hit song “21 Things I Want in a Lover” from her sixth album Under Rug Swept inspired me to writing this statement or manifesto of wants. I’ve even quoted her on the on a couple of her not-so-necessary request for her lover which I think if I hadn’t quoted them they would have ended up in there even if they weren’t necessary said by her.

Alanis Morissette who has been my favorite artist since I once saw her at a concert as a child in London, it motivated me mostly to be truthful to my wants and dreams after reading an article by Mitch Schneider. She stated that she is joking in one part of the song, but in another she's "dead serious. “The more aware of the qualities I am looking for, the more I'm able to recognize them when they appear, as opposed to having the initial meeting romantically be singularly dependent on chemical reaction or some intangible, indefinable, heart-palpitating, palm- sweating thing ... [that] often result[s] in a huge amount of incompatibility, so the concept of compatibility is so much more important to me as I get older.” And well I think by me reading this at that time that I to could also set key wants or needs in a lover. At first when I did write this I a couple of years ago I wrote it out of foolishness and more one of my short story’s on a role-playing game story board , and then I posted it on blog’s and then from there it went to being a piece of paper that I keep with me at times that I would travel around the would.

According to her, the song does not mention every quality she desires in a lover; she said she had “like 673 things” on her list, and that “It has to be updated after every guy.” I haven’t updated my list since I’ve written it that night, but the one thing I think I’ve got on her would be the fact that I’ve found a boyfriend that has every quality on my list and we’ve been together for about a year now. I’ve come to the conclusion that this is collaboration of most of the things that I’ve learned in my New Millennium Studies class, it shows a manifestation of ideas, community, creation, and an ethical action.